Tag Archives: Unknown

Quantum Creation, part 3

Quantum Creation, part 3

As my journey of understanding the Quantum continued to bloom; (part 1 and part 2) I could not wrap my mind around how I was supposed to create in an energetic space where I loved everything in it. I realized that removing my own personal desires brought into existence all created fields at once. But then what to do! Let me give you an example that I was walked through regarding my desire to teach one of my children to swim. This shows you the complexity and simplicity of quantum thinking. (Paradox again!)

All: “Let us begin with the belief that he should know how to swim. Love this belief and also recognize that this is not true. And love that belief too. You want him to enjoy water. Love that belief. He is afraid. Love that belief. He will never learn to swim. Love that belief. He will be an Olympic style swimmer. Love that belief. Now we take them all and realize that they are all the same energy, expressed differently. All are the One. The One is not held accountable to any of those outcomes because the One loves them all too. So then, as you just did, you consider the consequences of DIVERTING the All into a certain frequency, a frequency that has many expressions. From there it is a short walk to Becoming the diverted energy. By simply allowing it into being.”

There is no separating the personal creations from EVERYTHING else in the Quantum. Nothing is on a small-scale. Continuing with the example above. In order to divert the All into a frequency that would affect my son, this is how I would do it if I chose. I would create clean water for everyone and everything. I would create the love of water by all. I would bring joy to water everywhere so that everyone could experience it. This would not create a specific outcome for my kid, but it would alter EVERY available expression that he is living. It would clearly alter it for everything and everyone else. Think Big? It’s HUGE! One particle change (becoming the diverted energy) is like a snowball rolling down hill…only the hill is the Universe. It is rather mind blowing!

But I was still so unsure of what to do about the Neutrality of the All. Here is my journal entry where I got clarity on that.

Esther: “If the All is neutral, then where is the line between being neutral myself and creating what I want? I have become more and more neutral along my journey. Which really is neutral in judgment, so I love all. But obviously I do not choose or desire certain things. Should I be such a blatant creator, biased in my own desires of what I think is good for all?”

All: “You do not become a creator without making choices. What I think you are struggling with is the shouldering of the idea that your ability to create shifts the neutrality. As you point out, neutrality is loving everything. And you don’t want everything. And yet you have discovered that you cannot open up to grand outcomes if you do not accept grand failures as a distinct possibility. You do not desire the failure, but to not include it in the quantum soup would not be correct. Every time line, every moment, has an infinitely vast way of expressing. So to be the grand creator, you must be aware of them all and know that they all exist and know that none of them exist. Breathe into it. Explore the vastness. See it all before you. There is a neutrality to it all from me, but not from you. You are allowed, not only allowed but also encouraged to choose. To not choose out of fear but out of love. This is humanities biggest challenge, how to love everything for its very existence while choosing a benevolent path for it all. The person who chooses out of love reflects their choice onto all the possibilities available. The person, who chooses out of fear, narrows the creational field so significantly that all grand work in nearly lost. It is my job to be neutral, always. It is your job to embrace the love of all and use it to CHOOSE BIG.”

When the All spoke about reflecting the choice made in love, I got this very cool image. I was standing on a ridge looking down at the land below. Spread out before me, as far as the eye could see, were people standing shoulder to shoulder. Behind them the sun was rising. The people are symbolic of different expressions of life. We occupy the space of the entire universe when we are Quantum. When a choice is made out of love, a section of those figures lit up as if they were made of a mirrored finish. This bounced the light of the sun (Source, God, the All) onto every other figure there. The reflected light lit every figure; the closest one’s receiving a bright light, but even the farthest reaches were transformed into a different lighter shade. It was as if the light kept bouncing, each body reflecting it on and on. Later I discovered that instead of me choosing from what I know of, say if I asked for the greatest new possibility to come forward, the visual was different. Then the Sun left its spot on the horizon and emerged in the center of all the symbolic figures. It was so bright that it was a virtual white out in the center of the field. But most significantly all the figures became a shiny-mirrored surface. Everyone was glowing and reflecting! It was beautiful!

I wondered about choosing new unknown options. There is something slightly intimidating about that. As if I could create challenges that were strenuous for our evolving world. As if the populations of Earth aren’t facing current challenges that are strenuous enough! I was told that there are many reasons to seek the new. Problems can be solved with new ideas and understandings, hearts can be changed with new loves and new friendships, new beginnings and new endings bring surprising changes. There is always a need for the new on Earth currently. We can bring it in, change the particle to reflect it but not change the free will of those alive and living. This can never be controlled. How each life expression chooses to live out the new energy is always up to them. Just because it is new and unknown doesn’t mean that it can’t ease strains, smooth obstacles, and overcome huge quandaries. And while doing so create, by the free will of all involved, amazing and divergent outcomes that all reflect the love of the Quantum choice.

The Evolution of Perception, Portals 201

The Evolution of Perception, Portals 201

Hi Everybody!  I have had lots of shifts in perspective of the last few months.  I’m gonna guess that you have had some too!  Here is one that I would like to share with you.  I wrote Portals 101 ages ago…or so it feels.  And now its time for an update.  Ideas and understanding were bonking around in my brain for a few days before I sat down and had this conversation.  Please read Portals 101 for the fundamentals. Oh and Niya is a part of myself that was teaching me in 101, so I brought her back for 201. Enjoy!

Niya:  “Tell me what you understand as of now?”

Esther:  “Alright.  First, I am the portal.  I don’t go anywhere.  The portal is me.  Second, I am constantly using it to create my physical world.”

N:  “Very good.  Yes, the evolution of perception from it existing outside of your person to existing within.  What has adjusted besides perception?”

E:  “Well, the very definition of portal, or perhaps the understanding of the word.”

N:  “Yes, a gateway between two points is very 3D and oversimplified to the extreme.  As you point out, you are constantly using your energy field to create reality.  You are standing in your energy field, which is controlled by you, and creating your experience simultaneously.  Your world, your physical experience is the creator energy manifesting through the portal that you are.  You do not go anywhere.  It comes to you.  Now when you travel in your mind, how is that different from when you travel in the physical?”

E:  “I don’t go anywhere, I bring it to me.”

N:  “Correct.  To travel energetically is to step out of space and time.  It is very difficult to explain this to the mind.  You are no longer in a linear experience.  The same applies to any extra-sensory abilities.  The ability to use these talents places you in a non-linear experience.  You can no longer explain things in a A connects to B which connects to C fashion.  Instead words do not exist yet, to describe being out of time and space, in a sufficient manner.  This is how the energy field around you works, this is how the portal that is you exists.  It is out of time and space.  It exists in the energy of the ALL.  The potential for everything is available there.  And yet it is just there, surrounding the physical you, just beyond your perception and yet within your reach.”

E:  “This is what Abraham (Esther Hicks) calls the vortex, right?”

N:  “Yes.  The personal energy field, your vortex, is a constantly manifesting portal.  This is why you all have been working so hard for years to “clear your field”.  You have reprogrammed yourselves.  You have changed the energetic structure to reflect consciously what is in your heart and mind.  When you begin to truly understand this and to go back to the fundamentals–Love gives direction and focus, the Unknown is the amazing never-ending storehouse of energy to pull from and Light is the physical construct that makes the travel to you possible–then you really see that as the creator of your existence in the physical, the very essence of having a smooth quickly flowing portal, is Love.  Self love, brotherly love, planetary love , universal love, all these–from micro to macro–increase the smooth flowing energy, that is YOU, to move quicker and easier.  Things, ideas, understandings manifest quicker and in more dramatic ways.  Why?  Because you have asked for change.  And when change happens with Love at the helm, the effects are ALWAY stronger and clearer and reverberate farther.  You are not holding You back anymore.

The ability to alter the energy this is You is what you all have been working on.  The ability to understand what you have altered is next.  Think, if you will, of a diamond, hard and rough.  It’s molecular structure is set and yet it’s very shape can be changed and enhanced.  The human is not set.  The molecular structure can be changed, by you.  The energy can be changed, by you.  The thought patterns and behaviors can be changed, by you.  So imagine that diamond again.  It’s brilliance and beauty after it has been cut and polished has nothing on you.  Your magnificence in exploring and using that heart centered portal, that is the core foundation of your physical life and existence, is now at the forefront of humanities call for action.  There has never been a more exciting time in the use and understanding of what the human being is capable of.  To walk in the 3D world with a fully functioning higher dimensional energy field/portal is how you graduate, how you have graduated.  This is why action is required now.  This is why, for most of you, the personal time is over.  Your energy field is needed out and about, pulling to you love based ideas, solutions, understandings and most importantly change.”

Taking the Next Step


There is something growing in my pond.

Or maybe as Lisa Gawlas is now saying, something is Becoming in my pond.  Or maybe I am becoming able to see it.

It all started back last week when I was seeing the large boom box speakers pumping out base all over the Earth.  Well I also saw that where the sound wave were under water the ripples coalesced into a blue beam of light that shot up out of the center of the circle and went out past the atmosphere of the planet, and never ended.  The beams on the ocean were gargantuan in feeling and scope and the one on my pond was the diameter of a golf ball to my view from the bank.  But I kept thinking soft ball as I wrote that and indeed started typing it.  So about fist sized…LOL.

The second or third time that I played with the sound circles in meditation, I saw that there was a structure around the blue beam coming out of my pond.  It was made of light beams, sort of like a PVC structure ;-), only lavender in color.  Pastel colors represent newly arrived energy.  It consisted of a 3D rectangle, long side perpendicular to the water, with a pyramid on top.  The light beam came straight up through both and went out the top.  There were also “leg” struts that came off of it and one went north and landed on the high bank of the pond and one went south and landed on the low south side of the pond.

The next day I was walking my dogs down and around the property which always takes up and around the high side of the pond.  As I walked along I had the memory of the structure surface and instead of seeing it in purple it was now an amber color.  I have been playing with the energy of this in meditation this week.  Mike and I pole danced all around the structure and climbed up on the pyramid to dance along it’s angles (that was fun! Sliding down the peak was my favorite part.)  This male/female energy intertwine was his idea.  When we had danced on every part of it, we were standing at the peak around where the beam of light comes out.  Mike reached over and tugged me forward just enough that my heart center came in contact with the beam and I was sucked right down in it and the beam lowered down and disappeared under the water.  I was now viewing this from hovering above the pond.  Stillness everywhere as I pondered what the hell it meant and what my next move would be.  Then I see a tiny periscope pop up from the water and motor on over to the south bank.  Out of mini submarine pop these tiny Beings who are dragging a giant trunk.  Well, giant for them.  They make a bee line for the bee hives. 🙂  When I ask them if that is where they are going, they say “We’ve been invited.”  Vibrationally I couldn’t see what they had in that trunk or what they did at the bee hives.  I was quite confused by the whole bee experience.

The whole energetic structure was not so weird. (Weird being relative.)  After all, I just had the Portal 101 experience and knew that more info would be coming my way.  I had committed to learning about that and in for a penny in for a pound.  So I had something out in my pond that energetically was certainly very portal-ish.  But I wanted someone else’s point of view.  I reached out to my friend Melissa to see what she could see.  Here is what she wrote back.

Hi gal!

When I feel into those pyramids, it feels a lot like what Lisa describes as the crystal port keys that they planted (or are planting). It feels like you could “see” yourself going into the beam with the idea or intent held for the location you’d like to go to. BAM!! you’re there. Going to go for a ride?
I also feel you touching them even if you are not aware of it. Have you ever seen Buddhist prayer wheels where people walk by them and touch them to spin them? You gently stir them. Interesting.
Ok.  So crazy!  Validation of portal.  But what the hell?  It is over the water of my pond.  How the heck do I physically interact with it….when the time comes for that lesson…or series of lessons.  And how the hell do I tell people about this without them thinking I have finally LOST IT.  Also when I called and talked to Melissa about it, she was able to see that the Beings who came the visit the bees had used the same portal…therefore showing that I am not the only one who is using it/ will use it.  HOLY CRAP!  And no they don’t really have a mini sub…think symbol here people.
I knew that 2015 was/is about bringing us out of our internal experiences and journeys and start taking all that we have learned and start using it PHYSICALLY.  But I wasn’t quite prepared for the physical to show up in this manner.  All my adventures, and work and tears and learning has been done from the comfort of my own home.  Now I need to step up and take the next step literally out of my house and onto the land (and water).
This morning I asked for the next step.  I was shown by Niya and Mike in meditation, to go down to the North Side of the pond and lay my hands on the ground where the leg strut lands and connect with an energy under the ground that looked like giant amber slinkys or corkscrew-like energies.  So I got up, put on a hoodie, a Carhart coat over the top, a hat, my gloves and changed into my waterproof mud shoes and off I went.  It is bright and sunny and beautiful today.  Temps are in the forties (farenheit) but there is a stiff cold wind…so I was glad that I had all those layers.  I walked down and up on the high bank of the pond.  Which puts me next to the road and about twenty feet up in the air.  Basically anyone driving by can see me.  Talk about pressing the comfort zone button again.  “Oh, look honey, stop the truck.  I think that lady is having a heart attack up by the pond.”  I do not want my neighbors calling 911 because I am crouched over up by the pond.  But I decided to stop being a Chicken Shit.  I will be the Neighborhood crazy lady.  After all, I already am…just need to bring it out in the open. 😀
I got comfortable.  Yes, there is mud on my jeans as I type this.  It took me a bit but I could feel those corkscrew energies.  Physically my fingertips were tingling.  I saw in my mind’s eye, two large springs of amber energy (about basketball size in diameter) connect with my hands.  They gave a little bounce and I saw (not with my physical eyes) them bounce me to a standing position.  Then they bounced again taking me higher into the air and then higher still.  I pulled my meditative eyes up above my physical body about a hundred feet.  I could see myself down below and these slinkys of energy coming up out of the ground.  There were not only two.  I think there were four.  I physically stood up and walked around to the south side of the pond.  The day before I had determined where that “leg” landed.  There was a mole hill right in the exact spot.  I stood there and now had my hands back in my gloves and in my pockets.  This hadn’t been part of the assignment but I felt it was the next step.  I remembered my explorations a few months back with sending energy out of my left foot chakra and bringing it in my right foot chakra.  I felt into the ground there and just felt this little spurt of energy..like a little burp.  It certainly wasn’t as “active” as the other side of the pond.  I started to cycle the energy through my feet chakras.  I can feel the energy rising up through my body.  I took a peek with my mind’s eye and saw that I had become one big flame.  Only the flame was stylized, like the ones that you see in Indian or Buddhist art.  The flames then shot up into the sky and went up to the atmosphere of the Earth.  I had a pulled back view as they made a circle around the Earth and then divided once they made one complete circle and split in two and raced around the Earth at a 90 degree angle to the other line of fire.  (This is not the first time I have seen this image presented to me…the first time it was a white energetic line that gift wrapped the Earth.)  The fire wrapped Earth turned into a small apple sized golden globe that was placed in my left hand.  Where it fell apart into multiple puzzle pieces.  I then got the feeling that I was to bury the pieces in the mole hill.  Ok.  Eyes now open, I took off my gloves and bent down and started digging with my left hand.  Ohhhh it was cold wet mud!  I made a little dent and then put the invisible pieces into the hole…where they coalesced into a golden seed and slipped down into the middle of the hill.  I buried the “seed” and then stood up.  I could see (with my mind’s eye) a slinky of red energy that now arched up over the pond and connected to the area that I had just worked on the North bank.  There was also Love coming to me.  I knew I was being asked to write about my experiences.  But as ALWAYS it is my free choice to make.  I could feel the peace and love that accompanied me whether I chose to go out into potential crazy land or not.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE, it said to me.
I read two things before I went down to the pond.  The first was a post from Lisa Gawlas.  She said a number of things that resonated strongly with me.

I want to start with a word our teams have been saying, dare I say, force feeding us for the last few months: RESPONSIBILITY.

They had stated again and again, the mantle of power, the full responsibility of what it means to be us, to be conscious souls alive in biology was being handed totally over to us.  I think many of us, in this moment, namely me, can take that word, that energy, for granted.  I think too, I am going to couple the word responsibility with the phrase “know thyself.”  One without the other is a non energy in the realm of spiritual growth and progress.

Keeping with the word, the energy of responsibility, as I was recapping so much last evening, I thought about the readings over the last two years.  All the visuals, the trinkets of information given to you.  Even the understanding of why some readings only last maybe 15 minutes when your session should be 30 or 60 minutes.  Lets tie the word responsibility here with free will.  Freakin pesky!!

The visuals, the keys of information are released to you very purposefully.  They include so much information about your “super powers” your abilities and even, tho it may not seem like it at the time, what you have come here to this realm, to do.  They allow me to understand only so much because at the end of the day, they want you to understand it, to open up the fullness of yourSelf.  When they cut sessions up into 15 minute bites, it is really yours soul way of stepping back and seeing what you are going to do with the energy they gave you.  If you haven’t done anything different, we keep seeing the same things over and over, maybe in a slightly different way, but repetitive none the less.  From the souls perspective, why give a second helping of food if you haven’t eaten the first helping.  I had no idea there was a method to the madness!!

The second thing I read was the latest email update from Sandra Walter.  I love this quote from her.

You serve as your own Mystery school during this passage, beloveds. Creative intuition will bridge you to the 5D state. Gather in new, organic ways; classic structure does not serve the expansion, there must be wide open space for the unknown. Get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Feel secure in your infinite faith, the Source of your Highest power.


I freely admit that I have no (or perhaps Know is better) idea what I am doing down by the pond.  But I do know that I have accepted the Responsibility to teach myself about it.  It is a new world out there and the best teacher for each of us is Ourselves.  I am purposefully stepping into the uncomfortable so that I can get a second helping.  My first plate was licked clean! I’m choosing to move on to the second course.  What about you?

Portals 101

Portals 101

Hello Everybody,

I seem to be “between stations” in my meditations.  Either I can’t remember what occurred a few minutes after I finish (similar to most dreams) or I am getting my meditation visuals through a potato sack, very grainy.  And yet because I trust in myself I know that what I can see through the haze is happening all the same.  Evolution is not only happening on the physical level (sniffle, cough, sneeze) but on all other levels too.  Yippee!  That said, I had a kick ass meditation yesterday that I was smart enough to start writing down in the middle of so it wouldn’t go the way of the dodo bird.

I started the meditation by connecting with a stone that my friend Melissa sent me around Christmas, an Ocean Agate.  This is not something I do often but have been wanting to since before I even got this one.  Lovely stone!  Looks very cosmic.  While looking at it before beginning I noticed that it has the energy of three, four and eight embedded in it (simply from looking at it’s physical features).  The Three equals Trinity energy, aka Creator, Soul and Physical Being all as One.  The Four is Earth energy and the Eight is infinity, the sacred and unending cycling of energy.  Now, I don’t recall very well the beginning of the meditation except that when I reached out to connect with the stone I saw a bunch of interlocking green circles strung out toward me.  I do remember meeting Niya, a young female part of myself who knows how to “travel”.  I only remember that because I spent so much time trying to figure out how to spell her name.  (Niya means New Achievement in Hindi, Champion as an Irish name and Intended as an Islamic name.)  I don’t remember how we got on the subject of portals but I do know that when I asked her to tell me about them, she asked me, “Are you sure?”.  I seriously thought about it for a bit.  Whenever you get the “Are you sure?” question you should not take it lightly.  If you really say Yes, then it’s down the rabbit hole Dear Alice!  So I pushed through all the doubts and bullshit and said Yes in a deep way.  Yes, at the core of myself, if you will.  Then I jumped off the cliff that I was standing on toward the tiny black portal way down below.  It was in the portal with Niya that I started having such a cool conversation that I dropped out of the meditation and grabbed my journal.  The following is me transcribing both sides of our conversation (with eyes wide open).  You will never think of dark matter or dark energy the same way again!

I have gone through any number of portals while in meditation.  They remind me of the “hole in my pocket” from the Beatles’ movie Yellow Submarine.  There is usually not much that I see when I go through one.  I just am in one space and then like opening a door I am through to the other side.  With Niya, I was sitting in one and not moving.  The energy of it streamed past us from far above our heads to way down below us, in a tube like formation.  The colors where white and black and very random in placement.  Like a lot of strings constantly moving from above me to below me, the middle directly above and the middle directly below were both dark but not with the same black energy that was streaming down, just more of an emptiness feeling.

N:  “Ok, so Portal 101.  What is it made of?”

E:  “Well, light no doubt and..or I could just say that I don’t know.”

N:  “Your right. 😀  It is made of Light and the Unknown.”

E:  LOL  “What about Love?”  (I’m asking this because with my previous investigation into Telepathy.  I was taught that Love is how you send and receive.) 

N:  “Love gives it direction but there is no “direction”, so it is more like it gives it purpose.”

E:  “What happens if love is not used?”

I look down and see the black and white that is streaming past us start shooting off every which way and loose it’s smooth directional flow.

N:  “The light gets diffracted and looses its clarity.”

E:  “Back to the Unknown ingredient.  Is this something I need to know?  I mean is it dark energy or dark matter or something?”

N:  “The Unknown of the universe is exactly that, Un Known.  It is where you, me, everybody, everything pulls from to Create.  Why do you think there is so much of it?  You can never use it all.  This is the real meaning of unlimited potential or unlimited possibilities.  Your scientists will “discover” this in their own way.”

E:  “So we have Light, which we use for moving the thought, emotion, message, body, Being, whatever around.  We have the Love which gives purpose to the process.  And we have the Unknown, unlimited potential, which makes anything possible.”

N:  “Yes.  The Unknown is the well, the storehouse of energy for the event or process as you call it.  The Light is what binds that which is moving with the potential.  Sort of like a platform on a sea–if you will.  You (meaning humans) can see light on different frequencies (examples = infrared or ultraviolet).  See it differently perhaps but see it easily non the less.  Light is what binds us together, frequency wise.  There is light that you can see with the human eye and many kinds that you can not.  Light is a constant everywhere no matter the vibration or frequency.  So is the Unknown.  Think about it.  How many things in your life are unknown?  (Big Smile)  It really is staggering.  It is always being exchanged and turned into created reality and always being returned into potential.  Which is another discussion for another day.  And Love, Love is what brings it all together.  Love gives the event purpose and direction.  Love is the whole reason to do it and the whole reason that the event is accomplished.”

E:  “So if Light and Unknown and Love are everywhere, then what makes a portal different from any other space?”

N:  “Nothing! (Laughter)  A portal can be created anywhere because the ingredients are everywhere.  What is different is the ability of the Being to utilize what is there in a fuller way.”

E:  “What about areas that are used regularly?  Why is the same area used?”

N:  “Convenience, habit, enjoyment of the view.  Why do animals make a trail to the water hole?  Why do you comb your bangs to the left?  There are some things that we enjoy doing a certain way or in a certain space because it flows for us.  There is a curve to the hill that the animals will follow to get to the water.  They could go up and over the hill, and sometimes do, but generally they enjoy following the flow of the land.  The same is true of your hair.  You could brush it the other way but it seems to flow better to brush it to the left.”

E:  “So whats next in Portals 101?”

N:  “Next I want you to create a Portkey.  You have been watching lots of Harry Potter lately.  Now, there is no such thing as a Portkey (because you don’t need anything physical) but I want you to create something with the intention of shifting it’s vibration.  The mandala pillow that you want to crochet would be perfect.  Then we will play with it, a game as you would call it.  Until next time….I’ll be waiting! 🙂