Tag Archives: communication

Expectation and Releasing my Accomplishments

Expectation and Releasing my Accomplishments

Hi everybody! This meditation continues my understanding of creation. Or more accurately that annoying thing called, waiting for something to happen. It also addresses a meditation that I had done the day prior that was spurred by Brenda Hoffman’s blog post titled Goodbye Fear Friend at lifetapestrycreations.wordpress.com. I have to tell you, cutting the thread that she talks about was hard to do. Not in the cutting of but in the realization of what that meant. I needed to release all memory of how I got to where I am now, all the awesomeness and the ah-ha’s and the holy shit moments. That was big and I almost snatched it back reflexively. I had to consciously let it all go.  I encourage you to read her post if you have not yet.


Esther: “Dear self, can you help me with expectation? It seems to be my biggest emotional trigger at the moment.”

myself: “Yes. The beginning of all energy exchange is based on expectation. This can be incredibly limiting and incredibly expansive. We have spoken of the Time being Now, of using your foresight to pull things into the Now. This leads to expectation. How can it not. You should expect the visible presence of what you have created.  The problem lies in what your mind is able to expect and what is really there. You have a desire for everything to fall into place Now, for the uncertainty to end and the next chapter to begin. When this does not occur, you become sad and disappointed.”

E: “I am pushing again, aren’t I?”

m: “Yes, but only in one aspect of this. The train ride you are on has a scheduled stop. You are looking for that stop in every light pole that you pass.”

E: “Like a kid in a car on a long trip.”

m: (Laughing) “Yes. You have created an anxiety because each light pole is not the station. When we tell you that all is proceeding as planned, that all is created and entering your physical existence, you believe us.”

E: “Yes.”

m: “What you don’t believe is that our time frame and yours are the same. We are not so aligned with other energies that we do not understand. We are you. We KNOW that you and your family are entering you new chapter. We know your timetable. We know your schedule. We know that all will be provided. We understand your concern around this and we hope to allay your anxiety over this. Here is what we see.

You will be living in a new home by May 1st.

You will find your encounter with this shift painless and easy.

You will NEVER miss this opportunity.

You will NEVER find yourself in lack again.

You are as gifted in the creation of your dreams as you are in exploring what you are made of.

You will arrive at the station on time.

You will be there to both meet the train and depart from it.”

E: “Thank you. I have foreseen these things and the Time is Now.

Anything else you would like to add today?”

m: “Yes, lets take a journey to the release of the thread yesterday. Do you understand the release of your memories of growth?”

E: “I think so. To retain them is to create the energy again.”

m: “Yes. To totally step into the new, the old must be released, especially your memories of leaving it. There will come a time when you will not even remember what it was like to just scrape by. It will seem like another lifetime, as if you and that Esther have nothing in common. This is good. It is a new era, a new lifetime while still living. This new energy must separate from the old in every way. Do not think that your growth and accomplishments are not honored. They are but now they too are old. The New needs a clean slate. Thank you for letting go. It is a bittersweet parting. But now you truly stand in your new Being.

These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do.

And one of these days, these boots are gonna walk all over you.

You have stood on the shoulders of the old you. Now the boots have stepped off on their own journey. Your past is no longer relevant to the new you.

Are you ready boots? Start walkin!

Tip of the Day…Joy


“Joy is the only emotion that is never confused with any other.  You can be happy and sad at the same time.  You can be angry and calm.  You can be scared and resolute.  You can be multiple things at once, which leads–on a certain level–to confusion about how a specific feeling feels to you.  But Joy, real Joy, is just that and no other.  There is a purity to Joy that you each recognize, even if you only experience it for a few sparkling seconds at a time.  Find your Joy.  Pay attention to it when it shows up.  In order to bring more of it into your life you must know how it feels to you.  Like magnetizes like.”

Tip of the Day…For Those in Trouble with the Law


This guidance from MySelf is so out of left field that I know it is meant for someone else.  May it find the one(s) who seeks for it.

“This is a message for all those in trouble with the law.  Begin to un-entangle yourself from this institution by bringing forth in yourself the blessings of the moment.  This is SEEING and BEING in the NOW.  The legal and penal institutions, by their very nature, exist and operate in the past.  Life happens in the NOW.  Each moment that has creation energy in it is NOW. NOW. NOW. The more you dwell in the Now the more the law will not even see you.  You will disappear off their radar, as it were.”

Tip of the Day…A Poem


I do so like it when Guidance uses a different format!  Here is what I got today.

A Poem

First there was Peace on Earth

And then along came Trouble

Trouble said, “Let there be Peace.”

Peace said, “But I’m already here.”

Trouble said, “I can’t find you.”

Peace said, “Then why can you hear me?”

Trouble said, “Words are not enough.  I need Action.”

Action said, “Leave it to me and I will show you the way.”


Bring Peace to a Troubled Heart through Action.

Tip of the Day

Tip of the Day

I have big changes afoot in my life.  My husband, boys and I are moving to Colorado.  My husband is already there, helping his mother though chemotherapy.  The boys and I will follow once a home and job have been located.  I have been really busy with not only farm end-of-the-season stuff but also packing and clearing out what we do not want to take with us.  And now I find myself with time again.  I am in the “wait”part of hurry-up-and-wait.  So back to the posting…I hope.

Yesterday, I thought to Myself, wouldn’t it be fun to spend this month connecting each day to My Guidance and letting whatever wants to come through just flow out as a Tip of the Day.  I wouldn’t ask a question, instead I would sit and listen to what “I” want to tell myself.  I hope to post the ones that I feel can help others, the ones that are not personally specific.

Here is today’s Tip!  The final line brought a big smile to my face, it was said with love and not fear!  My Guidance has my sense of humor…or course!

“The first thing to point out today is your willingness to be open to and absorb new knowledge will build and expand on itself in unusual and surprising ways.  Hold fast to your desire for ANYTHING.  This opens up the possibilities to beyond what you can possibly imagine.  You will find new paths which you can explore further if you choose.  Imagine yourself as a GIANT magnet, now attracting to you all sorts of ideas, events and people.  The second point is that this opening and intent that you have given will not only bring our words to you but will be reflected in all other aspects of your physical life as well.  Thank you and Good Luck.  (Chuckling)”

Alpha, Omega and Zeb

Alpha, Omega and Zeb

Many people are experiencing change right now, change in many forms. Whether it is surrender and releasing of old patterns, ideals or thoughts or a complete change in physical surroundings or circumstances. Today’s information just came through a few minutes ago and I felt that I needed to get it out to everyone quickly. Whether it helps you or not, I certainly hope that it brings an Ah Ha moment or two.

During the last Power Trio meditation, we experienced so many things that it really was quite impossible to write it all down for you. The most profound segment of the group meditation had us witnessing the birthing of a new reality for the oceans, both energetically and physically. Both Melissa and I physically trembled for a good ten to fifteen minutes as Every Ocean Being on Every Frequency sent out this vibration. Melissa heard it as a great sound wave! Jennifer, our dear Heart, shed tears for us throughout the experience. It was amazing to feel the energy shaking my body like that!

During the long and involved multi-journey experience, Jennifer harvested some seeds from the clouds and the sun. We were each given one to eat. We could feel them in our chests afterward. Before I went to bed that night, I checked on them and saw that they had become flowers. There was a gold flower, from the sun, about three inches wide over my heart and a silvery blue flower, from the clouds, of the same size just above, near my high heart center. The next morning they were dinner plate size and while the gold one was still on my chest, the cloud flower was floating out in front of me and the green stem of it was attached to my chest where it had bloomed the night before.

Now remember that everything is a symbol and is representing a story and an understanding!

Well I also realized that there was a third Being that had come in with the two flower Beings as well. I call them Beings because they are alive! The third little guy looks like a little impish male and is hanging out on my head near my third eye.

Today, it came to me that their names are Alpha, Omega and Zeb. Yes, Zeb. (Cue giggling) The sun-flower, Alpha, is now the size of my chest and the cloud-flower, Omega, is equally as large and has floated up on it’s stem to surround and penetrate the upper opening and curvature of my inner tube torus field. Very interesting indeed!

So what does this have to do with all of you? Well the names for my new companions had been hovering on the edges of my consciousness all day. But it wasn’t until I stopped and said, “Your names are Alpha, Omega and….Zeb?”, that I really paid attention. Which of course, led me to sitting down immediately…well immediately after folding laundry, and finding out what the hell the three of them were trying to tell me.

Esther: “Ok. Whomever wants to talk about this…what do these words/names mean to me and you?”

Zeb: “Alpha is the beginning—LOVE—it is the creation of ALL. Omega is the ending but not as you conceive it. The ending is renewal, rebirth, re-aliveness. Nothing ever dies. There is simply Omega.”

E: “And Zeb?”

Z: “Zeb is the beginning of the end.”

E: “A combination of the two?”

Z: “Yes and No. The beginning of the end brings in the next batch of codes for the life force to enfold into. The transition between the two is never abrupt as it sometimes appears. Loosen your hold on what seems possible. Your new abilities are ready to unfold.”

E: “So do Melissa and Jennifer have a Zeb?”

Z: “Yes, several. We are not singular, we are a collective of energy representing to you as a single Being.”

E: “So ALL have a Zeb?”

Z: “Yes, the continual evolution of what is possible in spirit and in the physical.”

E: “So what is the Alpha doing over my heart?”
Z: “It is expanding. Expanding to cover all your chakras. All incoming energy will now come through the Alpha.”

E: “Which means?”

Z: (Laughs) “Which means that your connection with Source is amplified and instant. This is happening with many at the moment. Your “sight” of us is so that you will understand for you personally, but these energies are here for all.”

E: “And the Omega? What is she/it doing on my torus field?”

Z: “The Omega surrounds the upper curvature of your immediate personal field. As your energy turns and rotates with the torus field, it all must pass through the Omega at this time. This enhances all possible changes to DNA, the field of possibilities and fields of dreams and ideas.”

E: “We can also use the Omega energy outside of ourselves as well?” (This question relates to what Jennifer is learning/going to learn about the cloud seeds.)

Z: “Yes. The Omega seeds will bring regrowth and regeneration to ALL. This will be taught to you so you may use it with Love and Foresight.”

E: “Foresight?”

Z: “Yes, there are many outcomes to using the Omega. All must be considered before use.”

E: “So its not all Happy Happy Joy Joy?”

Z: “Again, Yes and No. All life is built on the joy of existence but not all outcomes would be foreseen by the human mind as a positive outcome. But knowledge of a grand plan and used in conjunction with Gaia and the elemental kingdoms will help bring clarity and use for the highest good of all. Fear not and understand that rebirth does not hold the form of previous perceived perfection and balance. Life cannot return to a former static ideal. For one, life is never static and never ideal. Do not try to create the outcome or hold judgments of what you wish or hope it will be. The heart and mind must be clear on this or the seed will not flourish and bring the change needed.”

E: “Wow! OK. What of the Alpha seeds? These have been held in reserve for now.” (Referring again to our Power Trio recent meditation.)

Z: “They are not in reserve because they can’t be used; only because they can and will bring potent change when they are used appropriately and wisely. Not everyone or everything is willing and able to support the Alpha blossoming in their field. There are many who are ready to wear this flower and be able to deal with the consequences of instant Source connection. All energy that you put out, comes right back. This will be instantly recognizable to some who read this. “Yep, that’s me.” They will say. This can be stressful as you learn to first see and then really understand that you are the source of the flow of all that you encounter in life. Again, have no fear. You are all being supported and embraced by a multitude of Beings who are here to help you each achieve mastery of this and many other new skills that you will find suddenly presented to you. Breathe and Flow. Stay in the moment and find the center.”

Turn up your inner radio!


Hello All Listeners,

Oh, did you catch that? We are going to talk about listening today.  In particular, the use of Song as a form of communication by our Guidance.  Today for example, I realized that I was humming “She Will Be Coming Around the Mountain”.  It took me a while to realize that it was one specific verse that was in my head.

We will all come out to greet her when she comes.

Yes, we will all come out to greet her when she comes.

We will all come out to greet her, yes we’ll all come out to greet her, we’ll all come out to greet her when she comes.

After I paid attention enough to hear the verse (and the clapping and yells at the end of it), the song faded away.  But only after I had gotten the message of welcome.  (To what I do not know.  But apparently I got around the mountain.)  I remember when I was first starting my journey of expansion that I heard “Ring of Fire” a lot.  LOL!  Earlier this year I had “Black Hole Sun” playing in my head a lot while I also was experiencing lots of Black Holes in my meditations.  But what I have noticed lately is that Spirit has been changing up the words on me. Case in point, ever heard of a song called, “Dark Side of the Sun.”?  NO!  It’s dark side of the MOON!  I shout like a pouty teenager. I hear back,

Everything has a dark side

And they didn’t mean bad, evil, corrupt.  As in, here is a little glimpse of something coming your way.  Cookie crumbs from the other side.  Oh well, I’ll figure it out, or I won’t.  I do prefer when they blatantly change a song.  Last week I was having fun interacting with time.  I kept hearing this:

Time, time everywhere it’s time

Blocking up the scenery, breaking my mind

Do this. Don’t do that.

Can’t you read the time?

That is not how it goes.  The words are SIGNS, SIGNS everywhere its SIGNS. You have the words wrong!

So listen to the signs.

And then they started singing Cher. Cher!  “If I Could Turn Back Time” of course!  Only they took the song and made it into a round.  And it became a song about mutual regret and forgiveness instead of one person’s heartbreak.

If I could turn back time,

If I could find a way,

I’d take back those words that I hurt you.  And you’d say?

(second singer responding) If I could turn back time…

We had been talking about time and that the way that we view time is not real.  I had quite a long conversation while doing laundry about it. But here is what it boiled down to.

Step out of time and all is stillness.  There is no longer any Time there is only to BE.  Take the BE attributes back into time with you.  That is what to BE in Time is all about.

And when we bring both the BE with living in a TIME based world together we become the eye of a hurricane. Cue “Riders on the Storm”.  The shit storm that kicks up around us affects us not at all or at least a whole lot less than it ever use to.  I know you know the feeling.  You walk away from the trauma drama and you happen to hear the Beatle’s singing,

Let it be.

Let it be.

Whisper words of wisdom.

Let it be.

or you take a step and go with your intuition and they sing a little Melissa Etheridge for you.

Yes I Am

I am you passion, your promise, your flame

Yes I Am

And so maybe they change a word again to get their point across.  But hey, they can only work with the back catalog that is in your brain.  So they got to do what they got to do.  And then there are those songs that you hear and you can feel the party on the other side of the veil.  Songs that for some reason open your heart up.  For example, say your watching Austin City Limits, and an artist ends their set with “Spirit in the Sky”.  That song, no matter what makes my heart soar.  I don’t care how badly its sung…that just makes me sing louder to drown them out.  And I know that my guides are funneling all their joy right in to me because I can feel them dancing around like a drunken choir ensemble.  Or how about that Leonard Cohen song, “Hallelujah”?  Leonard has said that “Hallelujah” was the hardest song that he ever wrote.  He worked on it for years.  It had countless verses.  He had notebooks full of crossed out attempts and rewrites.  He had the album that song is on rejected by his label, because of that song.  And now look, it is everywhere.  It was in the Shrek movie for God’s sake!  And every time I hear it, I stop what I am doing and listen.  The words are beautiful and violent and blatantly sexual.  But they are singing it at memorials for shooting victims and during church services.  And oddly enough, Leonard address the odd dichotomy in his song with these lines from the song itself.

There’s a blaze of light in every word

It doesn’t matter which you heard

The holy or the broken Hallelujah

There is something about that song that opens us up and fills us with that blaze of light.  It is no wonder that Spirit and our guides communicate with song; we have been singing to them for eons.  So next time you hear “Love is in the Air” by Milk and Sugar, or “Just Breath” by Willie Nelson or “Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On” by Jerry Lee Lewis, PAY ATTENTION and sing right back if you want.  The veil is thin folks!  Communication comes in many forms.

What songs have you been hearing?